Let's be honest: nobody likes to grieve. I think that every human being on this earth would avoid experiencing loss if we could. However, that's not how the world works. In life, we will experience loss. Some will be minor and easy to bounce back from, while others will be difficult. We will lose job offers, scholarships, money, time and worst of all, people that we love.
This past week, I experienced loss of someone I knew. While we were not close, I still felt pain when hearing that she passed because she was so young and made memories together. Her death not only took me by surprise, but it made me so confused about life. I found myself asking God "Why couldn't you have given her more time?" I just couldn't seem to grasp what was happening. That's when God reminded me that in this life, we will experience pain but he's the ultimate pain reliever. Sometime, his healing comes in various forms. For her, her healing had to be on the other side and I had to come to peace with that. For me and those of us who are still hurting from her loss, our healing will come from the peace of knowing that God has relieved her from her pain. That's how you heal from any loss; you shift your focus from what's missing and look to see what is left to gain.
Ecclesiastes 3 tells us all about how there is a time for everything in life. "A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest." [Ecclesiastes 3:2] This gives us confirmation that every day in life won't always be good. However, we have a God that gives us relief from our pain. Psalms 34:18 also says that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." This means that even when we feel down and saddened by our loss, God is right there ready to restore back our strength and joy. Imagine if God wasn't around to heal us from our pain? We would forever cry and grieve, and that's not his plan for us. He wants us to enjoy this life!
Do not be afraid of loss. And don't be paranoid of it either. We can never be prepared for bad news, but what we can do is ask God to heal our pain and take necessary steps to achieve this. It's important for your spiritual and mental health to grieve properly.
Here's how to heal from loss:
Acknowledge it. Don't be afraid to admit that you are sad, disappointed or even hurting. When we aren't transparent with others or ourselves, we are making it harder for the pain to escape.
Talk to God about it! He's here to listen to you. Ask him why and how you will get through it if you need to. I know it may seem silly, but prayer can help. Sometimes we just need to cry and let it all out. Who better to do this to than God. (And after you've talked to him, listen to what he has to say).
Embrace your loved ones around you. If you have friends and family who are there trying to take you out, or make you smile, let them. Talk to them and open your heart. There is power in unity when it comes to grieving. By talking to others and letting them in, you are letting the pain leave your mind and spirit.
Look at what is left to gain. I know this is the hard part. Sometimes we think, "I can't move forward from this loss". YES you CAN. God turns pain into purpose. You just experienced the loss of a child? Maybe start a support group for other women in your area who have went through the same thing. Lost a friend to gun violence? Begin advocating and raising awareness for this issue. Lost a good job opportunity? Look for others!
TAKE YOUR TIME! This is final and most important step to me. There is no timeline for grieving. You take your time and allow God to heal you. Don't let anyone tell you that it's time to move. Everyone heals differently.
While it may not look like it at the moment, remember that there is life after loss. Don't give up on God. Don't give up on yourself.
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