Stop chasing and start finding!

The chase culture; what can we say about it? It basically fuels the intentions of everyone nowadays. You always hear quotes or lyrics stating how you should "chase a bag" "chase a check" and other phrases implying that if you run after certain things like money and opportunities, you'll catch it and be happy once and for all.

One thing that I see a lot is the normalcy of chasing when it comes to relationships. I remember seeing a Facebook post that said "Men are sick of chasing women who aren't even worthy of them". And of course, there were like 300 comments under the post full of men and women debating their views on a man chasing a woman he wants, and even some comments saying that women should "shoot their shot first more often".

All of those comments discouraged me.

Why? Because it's like this; in my opinion, a man (or woman) should not be chasing ANYONE for love or a relationship. That's not how God designed relationships to be.

Think about it guys. The definition of chase is to run after something in hopes of catching it. I like to think of it in terms of a high speed chase, like the ones I see in movies all the time. When the police are chasing someone, they are chasing someone who is running away from them; someone who doesn't want to get caught. Now let's apply this to our lives; if you are chasing a particular person, meaning you are putting all your effort to catch this person's eye or steal their attention, 9 times out of 10 they don't want to be caught by you. I hate to tell you this, but it's true!

If you look in the bible at the men who found their wives and their queens, none of them were chased...they were FOUND. And that is a huge difference.

Does God make us chase him? Absolutely not. Instead, his word says in 1st Chronicles 16:11 to "Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him"[NLT]. I could post a lot of scriptures that include the word "seek" but the point is that we are not chasing God cause he's not running away from us. In fact, he wants us to seek him so we can find him and enjoy peace. Makes sense?

So if God himself doesn't want us to chase him, why on earth would he want you to chase a man or woman? Or even a job or opportunity?

Proverbs 18:22 states that "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord". It doesn't say he that chases a woman, rather it says he that FINDS a woman. The right woman for you will not be someone that you have to chase. You'll just find her! Look at the men of the bible who found their queens and wives; Boaz and Ruth for example! When Boaz found Ruth, he was not running after her or begging for her attention. Matter of fact, when he first laid eyes on her, sis was working in the field! (Read Ruth 3:7-9) Just minding her business and doing what she needed to do. And no where in the bible does a woman find her man by chasing him. Every woman was discovered by and presented to her husband. They didn't even have to do anything to be chased! How great is that!

The definition of "find" is to discover or perceive something by chance or unexpectedly. Men and women should think of themselves as treasure because that is how God sees you anyways. Sometimes treasure is hidden, because it's so valuable and worth so much. Not everyone can find the treasure either! But when you think about it, it isn't meant to be found by everyone.

So this is the takeaway: you are not to be chased nor chase anyone. Whatever opportunities God has for you, you will find if you seek HIM. Whoever God has for you, you will find if you seek HIM! We have to get out of the chase culture mindset and realized that the real blessings in life don't require us to run after them. We find them once we are aligned with God's will.

Here are ways to end the chase culture in your dating life:

1. For men: You do not have to chase the women that God has for you! You will FIND her. So bro, I suggest you seek God more. Pray before you date someone and ask God if she is someone you should be connected to. Remember; He who finds a wife finds a GOOD thing. So if she is toxic, draining, or everything but good for you, then it's probably time to let her go.

2. For women: Don't chase any man and don't even allow yourself to be chased! When you are letting a man chase you, especially one that you know you don't see a future with, you are leading him on and being dishonest. God cannot bless anything that is formed on a lie or wrong intentions. Be honest with men and yourself. Also remember to make yourself presentable and approachable. Look at Ruth! She was not hiding in her room all day and dismissive to every man that spoke with her. Seek God in everything that you do, and allow him to direct you so that you can be presented to your husband at the right time.