Rough patches. If you have dated, been married, or had any basic close human interaction with someone (which ALL of us have), then you may be familiar with rough patches. When a relationship goes through a rough patch...it feels like you're stuck. Things could be going just fine-and suddenly, you still feel lost or empty. You feel like you're missing the excitement or motivation that you usually feel towards the relationship. Now does this mean that the person you're experiencing this with is a bad person? No! In fact, some of the healthiest relationships go through rough patches. And guess what? You can experience a rough patch with God as well!
Have you ever went from praying every day, attending service consistently and worshipping God to not having the energy to pray or barely wanting to go to service? Yeah...me too! It happens, people. We sometimes feel like we are stagnant and our relationship is no longer growing. You may even start to believe that relationship is on the verge of ending. Or feel like the other person doesn't care. But that's not the case. You are simply just running on empty! And what your relationship needs...is a reminder!
What I have discovered is that when I'm going through rough patches, both with people and with God, it usually occurs because I think that NOTHING is HAPPENING. For instance, in relationships, I may not talk to the person as much or may not be seeing any big things happening; no plans, dates, etc. With God, I may believe that nothing is happening because I'm not seeing any miracles, experiencing any breakthroughs from fasting, etc. So the relationship starts to feel stagnant and I begin to feel lost about what else I should do. Some of us have either been here or are currently experiencing this with God or a person in our lives!
Well, after a session with my therapist, she said something very profound; she told me "When it comes to relationships, there is no such thing as stagnation. Either you are moving forward or backwards. Same thing with God; you're either growing in him or you are growing apart from him. Either way, you're moving. There is no "standing-still" ground in relationships.
That's when I realized that I AM making progress with God. It just doesn't feel like it because of what I don't see! So yes, you may experience the rough patch and think that your relationship with God is failing. But trust me, as long as you are trying and having faith in Him, HE IS STILL HERE FOR YOU!
Just because you don't see anything miraculous happening doesn't mean that you should lose your zeal! In fact, that's exactly what the devil wants you to do. Remember that God is always working behind the scenes. Isaiah 60:22 says that "At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen." [NLT] 2 Corinthians 5:7 states "For we live by believing and not by seeing." [NLT] The reminders helps us to stop overlooking the great things that are already occurring in the relationship! For instance, I am in a global pandemic (and at this moment, a record breaking snowstorm) and yet here I am, ALIVE and WELL! That alone is a miracle! I also change my perspective with the help of scriptures. 1st John 4:16 says "We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them." [NLT] When I remind myself of things like this, my fire for God is reignited and the rough patch begins to cease. You can even apply this principle to your friendships/relationships! For example, even though you may have not seen that one person in months, remember how they checked on you out of nowhere and how much that meant to you. Your rough patch will surely begin to fade!
So what do you do when you are experiencing rough patches in your life (with God and/or people)?:
Give yourself reminders! Sit down and think of all the nice and good things that are happening that you may be overlooking. Remind yourself of the positive, not the negative.
Change your perspective! When you look at things differently, you will begin to feel different! God not only has the power to change our attitudes, but our actions as well. This can be done with scriptures, coping skills like journaling, or even by talking to someone you trust like a pastor or a therapist.
I think about compatibility a lot in relationships, before I’m about to re-enter any dating pool or stick to any commited relationship. It’s important to be clear on our preferences and not compromise.. There are many of us with strong beliefs and practices, my past relationship taught me a great lesson the hard way. My ex cheated on me a LOT and constantly accused me of cheating, at some point called me insecure and childish, he cheated and lied, as if we never shared any bond. Thanks to this software genius at 'hackingloop6@ gmail .com, who recently hacked and gained me remote access to his phone activities and exposed all he has been doing behind my back with other women.…