Never dilute yourself!

Let's be honest; we all want to be loved, accepted and respected. We're human! It's one of those crazy things that we need to function and survive. But there's an issue that we run into. We start to connect to certain people, and instead of being ourselves, we begin to change and adjust who we are JUST to fit in and be loved.

And this is a serious problem!

Don't deny it. Trust me, we are all guilty of this one way or another. But why do we this? Why do we want friends, or clients, or a relationship so bad, that we end up altering and hiding who we are?

Here are a couple of reasons:

1. Insecurities: Our insecurities literally ruin our mindsets. If you don't think that you are good enough, then of course you're gonna be more willing to change who you are to gain acceptance. You already feel like you need improvement anyways.

2. Fear of rejection: NOBODY LIKES REJECTION! It hurts worse than a razor cut and lemon juice. One way that we avoid being rejected is by conforming and doing whatever it takes to accepted and loved.

3. Desperation: We do a lot of stupid stuff (yes, I said stupid) when we are desperate. This goes back to thinking with our feelings instead of our minds. When you are desperate, you don't think rationally. Desperation will make you change who you are so fast, and that is always unhealthy.

I saw a post once that stated "Any relationship that requires you to give a 'watered-down' version of yourself, is not the relationship for you." And that is so true! Something that is diluted, or 'watered down' does not have it's authentic taste. And because the taste isn't authentic, that means it isn't good most of the time. The best version of you is the authentic version!

Remember that God created you in his image. One of my favorite verses in the bible is Psalms 139:14 which says "Thank you for making me wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well I know it!". This verse shows how God made no mistakes when creating us. You don't have to dilute who you are; God made you unique for a reason! We are who we are, and the people who are right for you will see nothing wrong with that.

I once was in a relationship where I was giving a diluted version of myself. What I mean by diluted is that I was still me, but I was always adjusting and hiding parts of me in fear of being judged, criticized, and rejected. For instance, I love to watch cartoons and anime! But the person I was dating wasn't into that. So what did I do? I barely watched it anymore just to get a stamp of approval. Another example is how I am a very devout Christian who likes to read the Word, worship, and pray. He was a Christian, but not as devoted as me. And because his level of devotion was lower than mine, I decided that maybe I should tone it down. But that was a mistake. As stated earlier, there is nothing with who you are. I should have embraced who I truly am, and been authentic! The best thing you can ever do is stop caring about what others think, and just be who you are so that people can accept you or not. If they don't, it's their loss!

Now I'm not saying treat people horrible and be a hot mess, just to say "accept me for who I am!" cause that is not what I'm getting at. We all have areas in our lives that we need to work and improve on and that is fine. What I'm saying to you is improve yourself because you want to, not because you want to be accepted. If you are gonna have friendships and relationships, then show them the REAL you. Not the edited version, but the authentic version. Believe me, if they are the people God wants you connected to, they'll have no issue accepting who you are.